Welcome!

Welcome to my scrambled brain!

If you've managed to stumble across my blog, you or someone you love probably has ADHD.  Being part of the Scrambled Brain Club can be stressful, frustrating and confusing, especially if you were diagnosed after childhood.  But I believe that with support, education, structure, and a good sense of humor, many of us with this diagnosis can overcome the tougher obstacles ADHD throws our way and thrive.

I knew something was different about me from the time I was 9 or 10.  My friends didn't seem to have trouble remembering homework assignments or projects.  They were able to keep their front-load desks neat and their homework safely tucked into color-coded Trapper folders.  Their rooms were tidy and clean, and they rarely lost anything of interest.  I, on the other hand, spent the last few minutes before the final morning bell each morning racing to get forgotten assignments done.  Teachers got so fed up with my personal space that they'd dump my desk in the middle of the floor and force me to clean it up while the other students watched.  Or they'd rip everything out of my locker and hand me a trash bag to fill with my belongings to drag home with me.  I had dozens of color-coded Trapper folders...sitting unused in my desk while my backpack and textbooks overflowed with crumpled, folded paper. 

I was one of the lucky ones:  I was smart enough to get through even the toughest classes without studying much, and my test and participation scores usually made up for all the "zeroes" I accumulated on take-home assignments.  I had enough friends who would remind me about important dates and projects and help me clean up after myself in public spaces.  My parents were supportive, but bless their hearts, they had no idea what they were dealing with.  They attributed my failures to laziness (and why wouldn't they?), and usually cleaned up after me or completed a chore I forgot about.  I don't blame them.  ADHD, when I was a child, just wasn't a "girl thing"..."only boys get ADHD".  I would tell them that I didn't know how to clean or stay organized or keep track of assignments, and they just chalked it up to laziness.  Again, I don't blame them.  Who, with normal brain wiring, could possibly imagine that remembering important daily tasks and keeping one's room clean is HARD? 

In any case, I managed to get through my school years pretty successfully.  I earned an AFROTC scholarship to the University of Oklahoma and managed to make it through dorm life and life in a sorority relatively unscathed, and even enjoyed a semester abroad.  I still had enough structure to keep myself from imploding, and I graduated with a respectable GPA and commissioned as an officer in the Air Force.  My room was never tidy.  My truck looked like I'd dumped the contents of my gym bag across the seats (sometimes I had).  But I managed. 

The "fun" really began after I moved out on my own.  I had a job...an important one.  I had an apartment where I was responsible for each individual bill, rather than a lump sum every month.  I didn't have any friends to watch my back.  I had a credit card.  I had deadlines that mattered.  I had subordinates that required supervision and guidance.  Things started to fall apart.  My house rarely got cleaned.  I piled things up everywhere.  Clothes didn't make it to hangers.  Groceries never made it to cupboards.  Bills started getting paid late.  Deadlines were forgotten.  Social engagements ignored.  For six years I muddled through.  I was a mediocre officer, an unreliable friend, and by now a full-blown hoarder.  But I was really blind to it all.  I was diagnosed with ADD about four years into this six-year journey, but I was in denial.  I "had it all under control".  Being single and relatively shut off from the world, I wasn't able to comprehend the bigger picture.  When I met the woman who became my partner, I figured I could just snap my fingers and change my life.  I had no idea how inadequate my basic life skills were, how poor my social skills were, and how difficult it is to overcome some of the ADHD wiring and live a "normal" life.

And that brings us to the present.  The posts that follow will be reflections on my journey thus far, things I've learned, interesting things I've read about ADHD, advice I've gotten, coping methods that work for me, and sometimes just really long rambles (like this one).  Feel free to offer your $0.02, suggest a topic of discussion or throw in your reading recommendations.

Oh look!  A kitty!