Acceptance

You have ADHD.  It’s not your fault you have it, but you cannot allow yourself to wallow in self-pity.  I’ve been there, and an attitude of self-hatred solves nothing.  Owning your diagnosis includes altering your attitude to accept your position and move on.

1)   Accept your diagnosis

Once you have your diagnosis confirmed, take a day or two to let reality sink in.  Let yourself experience what some mental health professionals call the “grief stage”, and then resolve to move on with your life.  You may experience this “grief stage” several more times as you deal with tough situations that revolve around your differently-wired brain.  Learn to recognize it for what it is, accept it, and learn to move past the dark period.  It will be a tough road, it will be frustrating, but it is NOT the end of the world.  DO NOT let yourself adopt the “I hate myself” attitude.  It will be difficult to avoid, especially when you make mistakes that hurt other people or screw up your plans, but you can’t let yourself wallow.   Forgive yourself.

2)  Be realistic

No matter what organizational methods you adopt, what medication you choose (if any), what support groups you attend, or which blogs you read, YOU WILL STILL MAKE MISTAKES.  Many of us adopt an attitude that allows us to believe that we can be perfect someday, that everyone will forgive us, that we’ll never forget where we put our keys again.  That’s just not realistic.

Find the organizational methods that work for you.  Surround yourself with people who will not only support you, but will hold you accountable.  Don’t expect the first book you read to have all the answers.  Don’t expect a new lifestyle to click overnight.  It takes time to change.

3)  Educate yourself

Start with the DSM-IV and credible psychological/medical journals to get a basic grasp of what’s going on in your scrambled brain (here's a good outline:  http://www.help4adhd.org/en-us/treatment/guides/WWK9).  No need to get a medical degree or anything, just gain a basic understanding.  Read some testimonials (like my blog) to remind yourself that you’re not alone.  If you see a doctor for your symptoms, ask questions.  Learn about the various pharmaceutical options and talk with your doctor.  If you have the time and money, you might think about seeing a counselor or psychologist who has experience in dealing with ADHD…they may be able to help you identify problem areas and develop life skills to deal with them.  If that’s not an option, pick up a book or two (do NOT overwhelm yourself with a million articles and books…pick TWO and read them through) about living with ADHD.  They’re full of tips and suggestions on how to manage your life.  Also, stick to reading blogs like mine.  We can offer honest, real-world experience.

We’ll get more specific later on…