Setting Goals

Now that you’ve completed your honest self-assessment, it’s time to set some goals.  This is probably something you’ve done numerous times over the years, and never quite seemed to reach your full potential.  Or perhaps you forgot about your goals completely.  Well, now it’s time to re-attack.  Some people think this is the time to work on organizational skills, coping skills and basic life skills, but honestly, I think you need to have a set of desired objectives in place first, in order to create context.  You may find you need to put those skills in place first and then come back to this post…it’s totally up to you.

I generally divide my goals into three time-related categories:  short term (within 6 months), mid-term (6-12 months from now) and long-term (a year or longer from now).  I also divide my goals into functional categories:  personal, work, and relationship/family.  It’s important to include behavior-related goals in the “personal” category in order to deal with your ADHD-specific behavior.

A really important point to touch on here is being realistic with your goals.  As ADHDers, we often have difficulty with the concept of time.  We are NOTORIOUS for underestimating the time it takes to complete something.  And we might either over- or underestimate the preparation, effort and coordination necessary to complete a task.  Keep this in mind when setting goals.  You’re probably not going to start and finish a Master’s program as a mid-term goal.  On the other hand, you probably don’t need two years to train for a 5k race.  Give yourself a general “due date” within your time category, but don’t be completely rigid.

Keep your limitations in mind.  Go over your self-assessment again.  If you freeze in stressful situations, being a police officer in a big city may not be the job for you.  If you require lots of structure and supervision, then a career as a freelance writer is probably not a good idea (at least not at first).  This is where it’s important to talk to other people who share your interests or have accomplished the goals you’re seeking.  No two people are alike, but at least you can get an idea of where you stand.  That being said, if you REALLY want to achieve a certain objective, then resolve to do it!  But keep in mind, you MUST learn to overcome or deal with your limitations and work on your life skills to get there.  More on that later.

Brainstorm at first.  Write down everything you’ve ever wanted to do (don’t hold back!), everything that you NEED to do, and then take another look at your list of strengths and weaknesses.  Decide what’s totally unrealistic and keep those goals in your hip pocket (you never know when you’ll get an opportunity to come back to one).  Prioritize your goals and decide which ones are the most pressing, which ones are the most beneficial to you and your family, and which ones are just for you (psssst…you actually have to get feedback from your family or friends here…they can help you prioritize).  It’s VERY important to have a pursuit that’s all yours, something outside of your family and work.  Just make sure it doesn’t interfere with either!

Here’s an example:

Short term goals

·         Personal

o   Clean out storage shed, garage and all personal areas (within 30 days)

o   Go to the gym 5 days a week

·         Work

o   Clean out and organize desk & shelves (7 days from now)

o   Get Sec+ certification (6 months from now)

·         Relationship/Family

o   Take spouse on a romantic 3-day weekend getaway (within 30 days)

o   Date night every Wednesday (starting this week)

o   Start college fund for kids (within 60 days)

Mid-term goals

·         Personal

o   Run the local 5k race (Add specific date here)

o   Run the Dallas half-marathon (add specific date here)

o   Have American Express card paid off (by this time next year)

·         Work

o   Get a raise (within 1 year)

·         Relationship/Family

o   Family vacation to San Diego (12 months from now)

Long-term goals

·         Personal

o   Run the Phoenix Rock ‘n Roll marathon (Add specific date here)

o   Finish Master’s degree (within 3 years)

·         Work

o   Get a promotion to the Seattle or Los Angeles office

·         Relationship

o   Renew wedding vows in Hawaii (within 2 years)

It might seem a little overwhelming at first, but take a deep breath and relax.  You just took the most important step in realizing your goals:  the FIRST step…saying that you want them!  Next time we’ll talk about organizing yourself so you can REACH these goals.

Keep your list of goals handy.  Tape it to your mirror or closet door.  DON’T LOSE IT.  You’ll need it for the next stages.  But we won’t go there yet.  Let your brain cool off now!