The holidays
are stressful for most people.
Traveling, family visiting from out of town, buying & shipping
gifts, cooking holiday meals, bad weather, bad fruitcake…all crammed into a
6-week period. It’s enough to put ANYONE
on edge! Those of us with ADHD might
feel like crawling into a hole and waiting out the storm. Before I was married, I would just buy a few
gifts for people I remembered and go wherever I was invited to celebrate (if I
remembered). Now, I don’t have that
option. I have to not only actively
participate, but I have to help PLAN holiday gatherings. Don’t just stand by and wait for your spouse
to assign you dish duty or be the “gopher” the day before the big meal. Here’s my ADHD Holiday Survival Guide…
Stick to a timeline. Oh, how we love to procrastinate. Thanksgiving is already over this year, but
keep this list close-hold for next year.
I’ll use a big family dinner as an example.
-
3-4 weeks out from the holiday gathering: By this point, you should have a solid
location nailed down and a preliminary head-count. Be annoying with friends & family…don’t let
their indecisive ways sabotage your plans.
But be flexible enough to accommodate out-of-town folks or unexpected
family stuff (there’s always someone who falls and breaks their arm or breaks
up with their fiancé two days before Thanksgiving…they’re coming to your house
for dinner too now!)
-
2 weeks out:
plan the menu. Figure out who’s
bringing what, if anything. Make a list
of all the dishes you’ll prepare and then break them down into a grocery
list. Find out if there are any special
needs: food allergies, dietary restrictions,
etc. Your head count should be pretty
solid by now, so start tallying up what non-food items you’ll need (chairs,
tables, napkins, utensils, etc.). Are
you going to use real dishes or paper plates?
Is everyone going to sit at tables, or do you need TV trays for the
football watchers? Make a list of things
you need to buy, and also things you might borrow from family or friends.
-
7-10 days out:
purchase any non-food items you’ll need, if applicable. This should spread the cost over two paychecks. Adjust as necessary. If you’re purchasing a turkey or large ham,
BUY IT NOW AND FREEZE IT. Consider
logistics. Is anyone sleeping over? Make up the guest room. Is it a large crowd? Re-arrange the furniture. Clean out the fridge & freezer to accommodate
food purchases.
-
4 days out:
Sanity check. Double-check your
guest list. Double-check your non-food
items list. Double-check your menu.
-
3 days out:
Put your turkey in the fridge to thaw.
Shop for all food items.
-
2 days out:
Stage your extra tables, chairs, coolers, etc.
-
Day before:
Start cooking. Have a battle plan
based on the layout of your kitchen, how much room is in your fridge, and what
needs to go in the oven. Don’t overwhelm
yourself and try to cook 3 things at once.
If you need to concentrate on the mac & cheese before moving on to
the broccoli casserole, so be it.
-
Night before:
start cooking the turkey (if applicable)
-
Day of:
Set up all necessary furniture, set out paper plates, serving utensils. Finish any last-minute cooking. ENJOY!
-
Immediately after: do the dishes and start cleaning up. Don’t procrastinate, just get it out of the
way!
-
Day after:
Return any borrowed/forgotten items, enjoy leftovers.
Have a budget. Make a list of everyone you intend to
purchase holiday gifts for and any family obligations you may have (traveling,
hosting a family dinner, etc), at LEAST a month before the event (I’d start my
holiday gift list 2 months out). You
should already have a list of all your monthly expenses broken out somewhere,
so the next step is to figure out how much you can afford to spend on gifts and
gatherings. Don’t try to buy everything
at once, spread it out over several pay periods. Don’t use credit cards (if you don’t or won’t
have the cash on-hand to buy it, they don’t need it). Don’t go into debt or spread yourself too
thin. It’s just stuff after all!
Take advantage of
big sales & special offers. Do
research on things you intend to buy…whether it’s a 20-lb turkey or a 50” LED
TV. We tend to be impulse buyers, and
that’s NOT GOOD during the holidays.
Look at sale ads for Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Look at grocery store circulars. Seriously, why would you pay $900 for a TV
that will be on sale for $600 after Thanksgiving? Why would you pay $3/lb for a turkey at Store
A when the same turkey is $0.89/lb at Store B?
Doing research will help you be a better informed consumer anyway. You might be lusting after a laptop you’ve
seen online, but after a little research, you find out it’s an overpriced
clunker…wouldn’t you rather find out BEFORE you drop your hard-earned money on
it?
Be realistic. You’re not going to be able to please
everyone. Don’t overextend yourself
either in terms of your budget OR your sanity.
Look at your calendar…if it’s just too much hassle to travel to Atlanta
for Aunt Jeanie’s New Year’s Eve bash, don’t go. Send a nice fruit basket and promise to come
for Easter. I know you want to buy your
spouse everything they’ve ever wanted…but realistically, you probably won’t be
able to afford the half dozen new power tools on his list, a camera, a mountain
bike, an iPad AND an electric guitar.
Get the items he wants/needs the most and that fit in your budget…then
save up for the rest.
Don’t ignore your
other obligations. Don’t allow the
holidays to take over your life. Use
your organizational tools to plan shopping time. Stick to your budget. Plan, plan, plan! Don’t forget your normal schedule, your
normal living costs and any other recurring obligations. Don’t slack off on the gym or stop taking the
kids to karate because you’ve got other stuff to do…just PLAN for it!
Manage your stress. This goes along with being realistic. Don’t overextend yourself. But realize that stress will be unavoidable. Find time for your “blow-out” time and
“space-out” time. Detach yourself for a
bit if you start feeling overwhelmed.
Don’t take it out on your family.
Get enough sleep. Try to eat
right and exercise.
Make accommodations
for your ADHDisms. Enlist the help
of your family members to plan or execute a gathering/dinner/party. Use all your organizational tools to help
manage your time and resources. Try your
best to see things from a normal brainstyle perspective…you may have a great
plan worked out in your head, but once it becomes reality, it may turn out to
be absolute crap. Don’t try to make
things too complicated or be too sneaky with your gift-giving. If your gift involves something that happens
AFTER the holiday (say, a weekend trip, a trip to the jewelry store, tickets to
the ballet), then explain the scenario BEFOREHAND, and make sure you get some
other things that will let your loved one know that you didn’t forget
him/her. Try not to order anything
online for local giftees if you can possibly manage it…that whole
procrastination thing again will trip you up and make you look like a jackhole
who forgets about his family! On the
other hand, if you’re buying gifts for people out of town, DO order them
online, and rush shipping if you have to.
You will probably NOT remember to take your locally purchased items to
the Post Office until it’s too late with everything else that's going on.
That’s just reality...you know I'm right!
Have fun and good luck!
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