Let me be the first to tell you that IT’S OK if you either don’t want a “conventional” life, or just can’t thrive in one. Many people have outside pressure to follow a more traditional life track (i.e. graduate high school, go to college, get a traditional job, get married, have babies, retire), and some ADHDers can do well in those situations (with behavior modification and support). But some of us just can’t deal. People with ADHD have a hard time staying on task when we hate the task. This is why we procrastinate so badly in some cases. I know it sounds like we’re selfish brats (you non-ADHDers are sitting there saying “well, Leah, nobody LIKES to do laundry”), but it really does come down to brain wiring. Our brains don’t sort things hierarchically, so while we may understand that the laundry NEEDS to get done, to us, making a new playlist for our iPod is JUST AS IMPORTANT.
We have difficult prioritizing unless the task that needs to be done RIGHT NOW is on fire or has multiple alarms attached to it. Now, if you’re in a position where you can take a risk and change careers, that might be a great way to ensure maximum productivity and happiness. Nobody says you HAVE to be an advertising executive or an insurance salesman or a systems administrator. If you’re one of those who changes jobs every 6 months (by choice or by force) because you can’t find one that “fits”, it might be time to consider molding your goals to fit your ADHD instead of the other way around.
Do you get ants in your pants staying in one place too long? Consider a career as a traveling sales rep, a flight attendant or a truck driver. Do you know everything there is to know about hunting and fishing, but can’t seem to hold down a normal office job? Why not try your hand at being a professional guide? Do you have a degree and love to be creative, but implode under deadlines and rigid office structure? A freelance photography or journalism job might be more your style. Before you get all excited and quit your desk job, consider a few important points. We will use the flight attendant option as our example.
· You need some solid life skills in place before you go changing careers. Learn how to manage your time and organize yourself, your things and your finances. Learn to do it in a more structured environment (your old job), and those good habits will carry over to your new career and give you a solid base to build on the skills you’ll need.
· Do your homework. Since we tend to think with our emotions, we’ll let the initial excitement of being a flight attendant cloud our judgment. “Weeee! I get to fly EVERYWHERE!”. Throttle back. Are the airlines hiring, and if so, which ones are best to work for? Where is training and how long is it? What is the travel requirement? Would I be on-call for the first year? How much money would I make? What kinds of benefits would I get? Would I get a choice in where I’m based after training? What skills are required? Write down all your questions and concerns and do your research.
· Think about your ADHDisms and find out how they fit into your chosen path. In your research, you learn that as a new flight attendant, you’ll be required to be on a short recall. Are you capable of learning how to be organized enough to pick up and leave for several days with no notice? You learn that you have strict space requirements for your personal items. Can you learn how to pack to fit these requirements? You have to be on time if you’re placed on a regular flight schedule. Can you learn to manage your time efficiently?
· Make a plan. Once you answer the big questions, then you can start looking at the finer details that go into making your dream happen. You know that Delta is starting training in 3 months in Salt Lake City, and in 6 months in Atlanta. Is 3 months enough time to get your life in order to make a change, or is 6 months more feasible? Let’s say 6 months is better. Now, assuming that you’re selected, you can start refining your life skills to your new career’s specific needs, learning about the airline industry, and planning your stay in Atlanta. You might get to this point and say “forget it! This is too much work!”. But ask yourself, is it REALLY not going to work with your brainstyle, or are you just scared? We as ADHDers tend to be afraid of being happy, and afraid of doing things we WANT to do.
We’re so used to “screwing up” that we don’t feel deserving of happiness and feel guilty about doing things we like. Remember: IT’S YOUR LIFE. A little fear is a good thing, because it will encourage you to ask more questions. But don’t let it deter you from reaching for your goals. Understand that you MIGHT fail, but this time, you have an opportunity to make sure that failure won’t be due to your ADHDisms, so long as you learn to cultivate behaviors and choices that make your life easier and more productive. That will go a long way into easing your anxieties. Don’t let your past failures keep you from trying something you’re really interested in. It’s easier said than done, but the rewards can be great!
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