I have mixed feelings about New Year's resolutions. As someone who has experience working in the fitness industry, I've seen countless people charge into the gym fueled by the prospect of a clean slate. THIS year, they were going to go to the gym every day. THIS year, they were going to lose 50lbs. THIS year, they were going to run that marathon. Reality is, most of them said the same things last year and the year before. Reality is, quite a number of these hard-charging resolution makers will fall off the wagon when faced with a resolution that turns out to be more difficult or time-consuming than expected. That's not to say NOBODY sticks to their resolutions...but you and I both know that habits, especially long-term ones, are extremely difficult to change. Now, as a person with ADHD, you may be sitting there nodding your head.
You've undoubtedly made resolutions in the past and simply FORGOT to
stay with it. You lapsed back into your old habits without even
realizing it.
The reason I have reservations about making resolutions is partly due to my own cynicism. But as I move forward in my life as an adult with ADHD, I'm realizing that there are several big mistakes that people in general make when making resolutions. These can be especially crippling to someone with ADHD...if you've been following my blog, you'll see what I"m talking about. I went into great detail about goal-setting earlier, but I'll touch on some important points to keep in mind.
The first stumbling block on Resolution Road is the nature of our goal. The need to set realistic goals cannot be stressed enough. I'm not saying you shouldn't set your standards high or push yourself beyond your perceived limits. I'm suggesting that you figure out what's actually attainable. Setting a goal to get from couch potato to full marathon in a year...probably attainable. It will be tough, but that's not completely unrealistic. Going from couch potato to an Ironman triathlon (that's a 2.4-mile swim, 112-mile bike ride and a marathon back to back, for those of you who aren't familiar with it) in 3 months when you've never worked out a day in your life...not so much. Be honest with yourself. Go back to the goal checklist I wrote a few months back. Make your list of goals. Look at your schedule. Get past the excitement and fuzzy-brained feeling of making a goal and settle back down to earth. It's a great thing to make goals, but it's also disheartening and annoying to set yourself up to fail. So set yourself up for success.
This leads us to our next act of self-sabotage: lack of planning. We often get so caught up in the excitement of setting a goal that we tend to suspend reality. When reality comes back with a vengeance in the first week of January, the disappointment that came as a result of improper planning can be enough to hijack the entire year. Especially for an ADHDer. So it's essential that you plan your resolution. Do research, understand the time commitment necessary for your resolution, look at the financial implications, work with your schedule. It feels so fantastic to say "I'm going to take 3 graduate-level classes this semester"...but if you enrolled on a whim, you might be in for a rude awakening. Save yourself the pain of dropping classes and trying to get refunds and think it through before. Talk to people who have taken those classes or look at old syllabi so you understand the work load, look at your existing commitments, talk it through with your spouse/family. You may need to ease yourself into a major change like cleaning up your diet. Then again, if you're like me, you might need to make the change immediate. Understand what works for you.
The biggest issue that causes people to stumble is our own fear. We make resolutions that look great on paper and sound great in conversation, but when it comes time to dig in, we waffle. Sometimes, even when we've planned things out and made realistic resolutions, we let our own brains sabotage our efforts. Again, that fuzzy, warm feeling that comes with making a resolution clouds our judgment. Instead of letting it bring you down, let that warm, fuzzy feeling work FOR you. Direct that energy and excitement into your planning efforts, and you'll have less anxiety when "go" time comes around. Understand that a major life change is going to be difficult. Going to the gym 5 days a week is going to make you SORE and TIRED if you're not used to it. Paying off $10,000 in debt is going to force you to change your lifestyle. If you make a realistic goal, stick with it. You have to make those lifestyle changes HABITS. Eventually, if you LET them, they WILL become new habits. Make your goals realistic and plan properly, and half the fear will take care of itself. Just realize that the rest is just fear and self-doubt. You have a choice to listen to that voice or not.
Be safe, be smart, be successful! Best of luck in the new year!
